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There is so much crime, violence and bad news in the papers this week I don’t quite know where to start. The homeless man who had the cardboard he was sleeping on set alight? The Voodoo sex trafficker, Lizzy Idahosa, who used black magic to force women to work as vice girls in a Brighton brothel? The woman who was raped in the middle of the day by Churchill Square as people walked past?

So the white stuff is coming. No doubt in the words of the chart-topping band Blue it will ‘have the city under lock-down’. And in true British spirit, our failure to prepare will no doubt prepare us to fail. I predict, as normal, that we will not grit soon enough, or thickly enough. People will risk life and limb to stock up on bread and canned goods. The word of the day will be ‘severe delays’ across all forms of public transport.

I have three daughters. I wanted three boys. Want can’t change two XX chromosomes into XY ones however. Or so I thought. Two weeks after my emergency hysterectomy I just read that if I’d ditched eating oranges and not had sex on a full moon, I could have had my son. I never found out what colour we were having, pink or blue. If I’m honest I would have been disappointed third time round to be told I was carrying a girl. After a hard, fast and jolly painful labour, the words ‘congratulations, you have a daughter’ were music to my ears. All I cared about was a healthy baby.

So, Emma Seppala, Science Director at Stanford University, has found the key to happiness. Six keys actually, which if followed, can result in 'successholism'. Now, I'm no fan is 'isms' or lables, but Stanford is one of the best Faculties in the world, full of over-achievers. They are so clever they make up words, words I can't even pronounce. I thought it might be worth reading. Here is what I found out.

I found Sarah Vine’s vile column about Princess Kate's appalling make-up pretty funny in light of the fact that in her column photo, Sarah is sporting two slugs above her own forehead. She claims that Kate’s becoming the first woman to hold the appointment as Honorary Air Commandant of the Air Cadets was ‘entirely overshadowed by her right eyebrow being a good deal thicker and darker than its sister.’ She goes on to give Kate some make-up advice; saying ‘a tired, puffy eye always looks a lot worse with too much make-up, especially in shades of muddy purple.