It’s an exciting start to 2019 with China landing on the dark side of the moon. I never liked the ‘must have’ album by Pink Floyd. The blurry photo of a rocky surface is far more exciting. It might be fake, and it’s still better. China plan to have a space station up there by 2022. They are all obsessed with the moon because they think it’s a potential source of minerals and oil.
When I think of the moon, I always imagine it’s made of cheese and inhabited by people with saucepans on their heads and wooden spoons for arms. This is why I am not a scientist. I’m still not sure what I’m going to be when I grow up. After a row with the husband in Wickle, Lewes, over a seven-pound leather bookmark of two people kissing, which I claimed was essential and he claimed ‘frivolous, unnecessary and a sign I’m forgetting my working-class roots’ I announced I was ‘going back to work.’
I spent the stifled car drive home (lots of traffic of course) steadfastly gazing out the window in the classic ‘mum/wife is in a mood’ pose, while the children came up with suggestions for my new job. They included cutting sheep’s fur, cleaning people’s sandals (Like Jesus, who didn’t want to be posh) and taking down people’s Christmas decorations. The husband snorted with glee.
We wait all year for the Christmas break and then, a few days in, we realise we are not used to spending long periods of time with our spouses and being at home, doing nothing, is a bit boring.
We went for a bike ride on New Year’s Day and every other person in the village had the same idea. The underpass looked like Oxford Street, with everyone sporting a new Christmas scarf, or some shiny trainers. The mums all looked tired and the dads looked glum. I’ve seen more than one of my neighbours outside cleaning his car on his Christmas holiday. We long for time off and then when we get it, we don’t know what to do with it. Is this what we go to work all year for?
I watched ‘Birdbox’ after everyone raved about it. It was rubbish and not scary at all. I went to see the new Mary Poppins and didn’t enjoy that either. Dick Van Dyke dancing on a desk aged 93 was pretty cool though. I wasted a whole day trying to build some Star Wars Lego, aged 9-14, before giving up, much to my husband’s delight. Had I been good at it, I could have started my own Lego building business and brought as many leather bookmarks with people kissing on them as I liked.
Most divorces happen in January. Now I’m not saying I want one, but I do find it interesting that spending two weeks with family is the overwhelming tipping point for people to realise ‘I can’t do this anymore’.